Experts Say Relationship Requires Lying To Survive

The lack of honesty is a deal breaker in any relationship. Nonetheless, does it need to be? Among the many things we instill in our children from the time they are able to communicate is the importance of always being truthful.

To illustrate, we tell the story of how young George Washington once used his brand-new hatchet to damage his father’s cherry tree, and how he immediately admitted his guilt upon its discovery.

The boy six years old supposedly said, “I cannot tell a lie,” and his father embraced him, saying that the truth was more valuable than a thousand trees.

But it’s true that integrity is vital to any successful partnership. For many people, lying is a deal breaker. Is that really the case, though?

Alternatively, could dishonesty be necessary for the survival of relationships?

Just tell me some lies, okay?

Philosophy professor and author Clancy Martin writes, “Love is a greater good than the truth.” Martin’s book, Love and Lies: An Essay on Truthfulness, Deceit, and the Growth and Care of Erotic Love, examines these concepts.

His argument is that lying is necessary for any successful relationship.

“Martin warns that one must be willing to “tell some lies and believe some lies” if romantic fulfillment is to be attained”.

Continuing, he notes that Immanuel Kant and Arthur Schopenhauer, two famous philosophers who were known for their strict adherence to the truth, were also both estranged.

But the question is, how harmful can certain lies be to a relationship, and which ones are acceptable?

“It’s commonly accepted that white lies are sometimes necessary to avoid causing your significant other emotional distress or encouraging an atmosphere of constant hostility. Examples of such lies include saying “no, you’re not interrupting me, I want to hear about your terrible day” or “I didn’t notice you’d put on any weight.”

White lies, according to researchers Bella DePaulo and Deborah Kashy, who have studied deception at length, are “compassionate offerings” that help maintain relationships.

Obviously, white lies aren’t the same as having hot sex with a coworker while you’re supposed to be working late. It’s not hard to tell the difference.

Source – Tru News Report