Your Relationship Will Fail If Any Of These Five Things Occur
When two people break up, it’s natural. All relationships eventually end, except for the one that doesn’t. The end of a relationship might come suddenly out of nowhere, or it can be as gradual as witnessing an oncoming train and realising there’s nothing you can do to avoid it.
However, not every couple’s story has a spectacular, show-stopping ending. There are moments when the end has arrived and no one is paying attention.
There is already a problem in your relationship if any of these five things are occurring:
- Arguments never get settled
Obviously, not every disagreement in a relationship looks like a fight. Sometimes, a lack of growth results in these issues, where no matter what you do, nothing ever changes. You can argue until your face turns blue, but you keep arguing about the same things. It’s okay to get angry and yell at each other.
The worst is when both you and your partner recognise the need for change but are unwilling to compromise. They make all the right moves and say all the right things, giving you hope that perhaps you have made progress.
But then reality hits when the changes that were promised don’t happen. Now you’re in the difficult position of needing to have yet another conversation about the same subject.
- Neither party can rely on each other or expect forgiveness
Accepting that you and your partner aren’t perfect and will make mistakes is one of the most challenging aspects of maintaining healthy relationships. The mistake may hurt, but it’s usually something you can get over afterward.
We go through the process of saying sorry and making up all the time, but we rarely allow ourselves to truly let go and let healing take place. It’s nice to say you forgive someone or that you’ve been forgiven, but words without action are meaningless. When the wounds are fresh, it’s one thing. It’s another thing when both parties have made genuine attempts to mend relationships and move on but still can’t.
As a kind of punishment or manipulation, toxic partners often refuse to forgive their partners. Sometimes, they just keep the relationship as a hostage to make sure the other person is “good.” No one can undo the harm done if you’re constantly on the lookout for proof of future mistakes or if your previous wrongdoing is used as a weapon against you.
- No effective communication
Successful relationships rely heavily on open lines of communication. Since your spouse probably isn’t a mind reader, counting on them to instantly know what you need is an absolute guarantee for disappointment. It’s important to remember that “filling the air with noise” isn’t the same thing as communicating.
People often confuse “talking” with “communicating,” and they try to fill awkward silences with words as if doing so will make their relationship problems go away. If you can’t express your needs and wants or share how you truly feel, it’s probably time to end the relationship. Even if making your needs clear will cause a fight, it doesn’t matter. Ignoring or ending a fight doesn’t make a relationship better if nothing is fixed, and some fights are necessary.
- Always fighting
Regardless of how compatible or in love two people may be, arguments are inevitable. For some couples, “explode at one another, then passionate make-up sex” is a normal pattern of interaction.
However, every relationship has its ups and downs, and sometimes the quiet times are just the calm before the storm. If your relationship has devolved into a never-ending cycle of resentment, blame, and hostility, it’s probably past its prime.
If you and your partner continually argue without ever solving the underlying problem, your relationship is gone. Perhaps you’re too proud to confess that you made a mistake. Perhaps they are unwilling to let go of past disagreements. It’s important to remember that a quarrel is more than just an exchange of heated words.
- You just want the relationship to end
Many people stay in dead or dying relationships because they can’t find a good enough excuse to break up with their partner. Strange as it may seem, this is actually the clearest indication that you’ve ended things between you two.
Many forget that you don’t require signs or evidence to know when a relationship has run its course. What they really want to do is end the relationship, but they need some external validation or excuse to finally do it.
However, the only real justification for breaking up is if one party wants to move on. You can’t go back and change your mind about leaving or be forced to prove your case in a breakup court.
You should never stay in a relationship for a minute longer than you feel like it. If you’ve made up your mind to go, you’re free to do so. Searching for an “acceptable” indication or cause to end things may cost you time and happiness. If you’ve come to the conclusion that the relationship is finished, then it’s time to end things in a respectful way.
