It’s human nature to have bad days and fights in relationships of all kinds, not just romantic ones. However, we must be able to distinguish between healthy and harmful actions and establish clear boundaries when we’ve had enough.
Size is not a factor when it comes to toxicity. Manipulation, blaming, obvious falsehoods, harsh, unjustified criticism, and cunning mind games are all examples of this. There is toxicity everywhere; in your beloved family, your dependable friends, your devoted spouse, and your helpful coworkers.
Too many of us suffer from the negative effects of toxic habits because we either don’t identify them or don’t have the guts to name them what they really are.
A harmful behavior may drain your joy and vitality no matter what form it takes. It might lower your self-esteem and put your pride in jeopardy. As someone who was in a relationship that was subjected to several toxic behaviors, I fully understand how difficult it can be to recover one’s sense of self-worth after such an experience.
My life’s lessons have taught me that if you establish firm limits for yourself and are willing to defend them, no one will be able to undermine your self-assurance.
Keep in mind that you are a wonderful, deserving human being who deserves more than to put up with the following eight harmful actions or words:
1. Never-ending bad vibes.
The people you encounter in life can either boost your spirits and make you feel good about yourself, or They’ll drain your energy and fill your head and heart with negativity.
The second type causes you to think in a pessimistic manner and act in a destructive one. They have the power to undermine your confidence and prevent you from realizing your potential. Being with a person who constantly brings you down may seriously stunt your development as a person.
2. Taking criticism personally
We all forget things from time to time, whether it’s the names of individuals we care about or the items on our grocery list that we left at home. However, when someone you care about uses a minor slip-up you made as the jumping-off point for a long litany of your flaws, they are engaging in verbal abuse.
As long as it is constructive and fair, criticism is acceptable. However, there are others that push the limits to the extreme. Without provocation, they will slam you with criticism and may even resort to insults and degrading behavior. Someone with poor self-esteem and a lot of insecurities might act in such a way. And by attacking you, they might feel better about themselves.
3. The calm and happiness within you
Do not let anyone steal your happiness. You are free to do whatever it is that brings you joy and peace: sing your heart out, paint your walls, write poetry, read anything you like till the wee hours of the morning if you like, love and laugh, drink your favorite wine, listen to your favorite music, dance, meditate, practice yoga, etc.
At the end of your life, there is nothing more tragic than understanding that you spent it being frightened to show emotion, hiding your true self, and continuing walking on eggshells around others.
A toxic person never owns up to their wrongdoing. Instead of taking responsibility, they place it on everyone else. They can harm you countless times and make countless mistakes, but they will never apologize. Someone might treat you badly, then blame your emotionality and clinginess for bringing it on yourself.
Consider going out with a group of friends to a club, only to have one of them become drunk and spoil everyone’s night. Instead of taking responsibility for the mayhem they caused, they shift the blame to you, suggesting that you should have monitored their drinking.
5. Freedom to tell the truth
Relationships thrive when partners are able to express their emotions and opinions openly and honestly. You want to communicate effectively and have your needs met. Being genuine, loyal to yourself, respectful to others, and steadfast in your convictions is what it comes down to.
6. Value Yourself
Men may be incredibly manipulative and controlling when they are in a dysfunctional state. If you go against their requests, they can become quite abrasive and rude, even threatening.
If you don’t teach your spouse to respect you and your space from the beginning of your relationship, he will come to demand it and treat you disrespectfully as a result. Keep your word and your pride intact. Take charge and teach your spouse to respect your space.
You’re frustrated and desperate, but you think love requires sacrifice. You think you have to cater to your partner’s every whim and demand in order to earn his love. Eventually, you’ll feel a lot of pent-up rage and resentment since you’ll have reached your emotional breaking point and realized that the relationship isn’t delivering on any of your expectations.
You go out of your way to please him, giving more than necessary. He clearly isn’t the man you want him to be, yet you stick around anyhow. Even though you told yourself you would set boundaries and prioritize your own needs, you find yourself in the same situation with everyone you meet since the pattern seeps in.
You haven’t figured out how to be loved, so don’t expect any positive changes in your relationships.
If someone is gaslighting you, they are playing on your anxieties to make you believe that something didn’t happen or that certain words weren’t spoken.
This is done so that you start to question your sanity and rationality and begin to wonder whether or not your senses are accurate. This kind of conduct allows them to say or do anything harmful to you and then deny it ever happened. They might accuse you of exaggeration and demand an apology even if it wasn’t your fault.